It’s Coming Right At You–In 3D!

Here’s a first for SciFi Chicks–an expansion into genre films, specifically those starring actors normally seen on the TV shows we cover every week.  And the honor falls to My Bloody Valentine 3D, starring Supernatural’s Jensen Ackles.  Unfortunately, it was only available in 2D in my area, so I’m going to invite any of my fellow Chicks who had a chance to catch the 3D version to put their two cents worth in, as well.

Ten years ago, a mining accident at Hanniger Mines caused a cave-in which had only one survivor, Harry Warden.  Warden was in a coma for a year, then on Valentine’s Day awoke and began a murder spree that shook the town to its core before the local law enforcement was able to put him down.  The lone survivor of this spree, Tom Hanniger(Ackles), who accidentally caused the cave-in in the first place, left town after that and is only now returning to wrap up some family business.  Bad timing for him, as a new rash of murders begins, making him the prime suspect.

Spoilers beyond this point, you’ve been warned!  If you don’t want to know the rest of the story before you head to the theater, turn back now!

Like any slasher movie worth its salt, the majority of this flick is a variety of gory deaths at the hands of the resident serial killer; in this case, Harry Warden.  Or is it Harry?  There is a plot here, as the current sheriff, Axel Palmer, tries to figure out who’s killing everyone associated with the previous rampage.  While the original massacre was a free-for-all–Harry killing anyone who crossed his path–this time he has an agenda.  And while Axel is trying to puzzle that out and keep the town calm, he’s also juggling an affair with his wife’s co-worker and working himself into a jealous rage that said wife’s old flame(namely Tom) is back and he knows she never got over him.  He’s absolutely certain Tom is the killer, and Tom is equally certain it’s Axel.  Yes, I’m focusing on the plot.  In a minute, I’m going to discuss the acting.  Deal with it.

As it turns out, Axel is right.  Sort of.  Tom is the killer, although he’s developed a split personality in the form of Harry Warden to take on his murderous escapades.  The mild-mannered mine owner’s son snapped at the business end of Warden’s pickaxe ten years ago, and has spent the majority of his time since in a mental institution.  When he comes back to sell the mine after his father’s death, the meds aren’t enough to balance out his fragile mental state and a serial killer is recreated.  Of course, he dresses in Warden’s mining suit and helmet(which he dug out of the guy’s grave) so no one knows it’s him for sure until the last fifteen minutes or so.

I had my suspicions that Tom was the killer from the moment he encountered Warden in the mine and their movements were exactly mirrored.  Not to mention the fact Tom got out of that encounter alive.  Certainly, if it was actually Warden, Tom would be the first person he’d come after, since he saw Tom as responsible for the cave-in.  But Tom seemed a nice, gentle sort, while Axel was jealous and hot-headed.  I suppose I should know by now that the obvious isn’t always what you think.  In the final confrontation between the two, however, deep in the mines, it’s revealed how far off the deep end Tom really is, and it’s played wonderfully by Ackles.  It’s gotta be challenging to make the audience feel sorry for your character(Tom has no idea he’s the killer), and then turn around and scare the bejeesus out of them.  The gore throughout is fun, and probably makes you jump when it’s 3D, but the creepiest thing is seeing an unhinged and blubbering Tom morph into the determined and fearsome Warden.

There are quite a few intensely gory and bloody deaths, and I suspect in 3D they would be enough to make me avert my eyes, especially those of the maid and the retired sheriff.  I don’t think they’d give me nightmares, though, and that’s from someone who is still freaked out by the melting Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark. There’s a certain level of throwback cheesiness to the kills that keeps them from being really frightening in 2D.

There is a chance for a sequel, as Tom/Warden survived an explosion that Axel assumed killed him.  Would we see more of Tom’s disentigrating sanity?  Would he be absorbed by the Warden personality?  Are there more ways to kill someone with a pickaxe?  Only time will tell.